Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
