Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
