She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
