Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
