you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
