DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
