If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
