i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize