They should really pass out barf bags in church
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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