Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
