look no pants
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
