your room smells of hookers.
And success
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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