yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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