Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
