Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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