I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
