she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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