i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
