Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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