i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
