grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
