dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
