i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
farters have to be the big spoon...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
