How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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