He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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