he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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