Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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