my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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