I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
