No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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