1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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