I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
