im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He has the fingertips of a God
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
