What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
