We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
bring money and cleavage
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
