Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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