Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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