my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
