She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
