He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
