Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
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