Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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