I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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