I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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