How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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