Swine flu. Run for my life!
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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