Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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