I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Damn victory sex feels great
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