i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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