My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
