you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
