all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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