Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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