you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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