i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
