My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
