R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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