During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
