Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
