god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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