'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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