I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You need Xanax blowdarts
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
