You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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