it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
