Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
