Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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