32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
