I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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