See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
