Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Randomize
