just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
