I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
