It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
then he tried to convert me to islam
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
