kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
